Event 6
100 DUs
50 HSPU (30, 8, 5, 5, 2)
40 T2B (28, 12)
30 Sh to Overhead (100lbs axle) (4, 3, 3, 5, 5, 4, 4, 2 into lunges)
90ft walking lunge w/axle (completed in two sets)
12:03 - 5th place
I learned more about myself with this workout than probably any other. Every year there has been something & sometimes multiple things in the workout that I would create fear around.
To use the past two years as examples in 2011 it was the double DB ground to overhead with 40lbs & last year the 70lb DB snatch. Both of which turned out better than I could have anticipated. I didn't end up being left behind staring at the DB(s) as I had feared.
When I looked at the workouts this year I saw those 30 Sh to OH and immediately took on my same fear of being the only left there trying to knock out reps. So I asked James if I could do this workout every week leading into Regionals. And he granted my wish. :)
Each week was a learning experience. Just to use the HSPU alone as an example the first week it took me 3:30 to get through the 50 reps. By the 4th week I did them in under 2 minutes. (Thank you Amber for the extra push that week. She made a comment before we started the workout along the lines of...I"m really good at the Dus & HSPUs, but you'll probably pass me during the T2B". Sometimes I respond well to a little challenge and I caught her before the hspus were over. :)
The first time I used the axle (second week of doing the workout) it took me around 6 minutes to do the 30 reps struggling with 2-4 reps at a time and I was 2 minutes over the 15 minute cap on the whole workout. The very next week I attacked the axle and was suddenly able to knock out bigger sets even doing a set of 10 from 20-30 and took my time down to around 12:30...4:30 faster than the previous week.
While sure whatever I do in days prior to the sessions would make a difference, I can assure you that I didn't do anything nasty and high volume leading into these various sessions. And let's face it, I did not suddenly acquire the ability to do high rep HSPUs. The difference was in my mind. When I allow myself the opportunity to let go of the fear of going to failure in the hspus I discovered that I can knock out 33 consecutive hspus, take a short rest between shorter sets and never feel like I was on the edge of not being able to do them. And with the axle when I get out of my own way and just accept it vs focusing about how much I hate it, I'm actually pretty damn good at it & 100lbs is not an overwhelming load for me at this point afterall. Oh what our mind can do to us...
Going into the weekend of Regionals I knew I had grown and taken the next step this year as I acknowledged that I wasn't "dreading" any part of the weekend. I was actually pretty excited to show up and do the workouts with other competitors!
But by Sunday morning my self-doubt devil was chirping in my ear. I was still dealing with the disappointment from Saturday morning a bit and fighting to keep caring to push hard when chances to qualify to the "big show" are little to none. That devil & my self-supportive "you can do anything you put your mind to" angel were battling it out back & forth in my brain all the way through the final steps of the axle walking lunge.
I often find it to be a surreal feeling when I'm out on the floor of a big competition. They make the announcement that "these are your top ladies after 5 events..." and one at a time we head out onto the floor. Every time I focus on flashing a big smile to remind myself to have fun and that this IS the fun part. The time when I get to test all the work I do in the gym and see where it puts me relative to everyone else. Up until recently I used to feel like I hated competition and often felt confused as to why I kept going back to it. In time, I've come to acknowledge that it's my attachment to the outcome and fear of what others may think if I do or don't do (fill in the blank) that brought a bunch of negative feelings & stress around competition.
As I ran out onto the floor for event #6 (the same event that I had been excited for) I was fighting my self-doubt devil behind my smile...."who are you to think you can compete with these girls?" After doing worse on Saturday morning than I did in training the devil pulled out, "it's just like college, you aren't that great when it counts afterall. Maybe you can do well in training, but then you just freeze and shut down in competition...." And then there is my sweet little self-supportive angel sometimes meekly and other times boldly speaking back, "You CAN do this, you deserve to be here, you are talented, you are strong, you know how to fight, test it, don't be afraid, be excited!..."
We line up in our lanes, jump ropes in hand and we wait for the countdown. Once the "3, 2, 1...Go" is said, it becomes like a blur for me. Double unders were better than any of the practice sessions and then under the wall and some panic started to set in. Worked through it and knocked out my HSPUs in 30, 8, 5, 5, 2. I was aware of the announcer and who was where during this time. I knew I was in good position going into the toes to bar. I find that it's very easy for me to keep doing something once I start, but it's during all the little rest breaks that I feel surrounded with a cloud of uncertainty and doubt. For the toes to bar I knocked out 28 just by thinking over and over, "one more, one more, one more... from about rep 15 on. Wasn't too hard to get myself back up and make the decision to finish the 40 with a set of 12, but then I came off the bar and it was like..."Oh boy, time for that axle." In the end, I didn't attack quite as much as I was hoping, but it also could have been much uglier. There were no tears and in general I would say that the angel won. The power went off in the facility while I was on my last set of 10 but I barely noticed. I finished the 30 reps off with a double & kept it on my shoulders to go into the lunges....something that I had never done in practice. I dropped the bar once about 10 feet before the halfway line on the floor. Definitely had the doubt creep back in then, but after a rest I picked it up and focused on one step at a time all the way across the line. I didn't feel like I showed what I am fully capable of, but I did what I could in that moment, on that day to pick up my 4th top 5 finish of the weekend.
Event 7
4 Rounds for time:
2 rope climbs (15')
100ft run
4 squat cleans (135lbs)
100ft run
for time.
5:51-9th place
Similar to Event 6, I had done Event 7 four times in practice. I was far more consistent with these sessions and felt prepared going into the final event. The most challenging part was the rope climb. My hands were pretty beat up from the weekend and I was having difficulty going down the rope in warm-up. In fact, I fell on each of the two rope climbs I did backstage. The first time I came down and landed right on my kneecap which didn't feel very good and the second time I came down and bounced on my butt. Jeremy Gordon, a fellow OPT coach who coaches Gretchen Kittelberger, saw me fall both times and said to me, "Shanna, are you OK??" I just had to laugh at myself and then decided to go have my hands re-tapped and save any more climbs until I got out on the floor.
Being able to feel confident with this last workout is a testament to the improvements I made over the past couple of years. Last year when we had cleans at 135lbs I was relieved that they could be powered and that I didn't have to squat. This year the 135lbs squat clean was not a problem and I was looking forward to knocking out some touch 'n go reps at the end of the weekend.
I did just that....4 ub in the first round, the middle rounds are blurry to my memory, but I think I did doubles and then went 4 again at the end.
In the meantime I will celebrate my 6th place finish which is my best Regional finish to date. (See full results here. ) And I was pleased to see this table which puts my Regional finish as the 67th best of the 643 other female regional athletes in 2013. I'm closer than I have ever been to realizing my dream of competing at the CrossFit Games and I am excited to get back to training and see where I'll be a year from now.
For next year I have set the intention of overcoming my mental block of not feeling like I want it as much as others and quieting that devil on my shoulder to create the possibility of being on the podium in 2014....
Onward and upward!!
No comments:
Post a Comment