For a quick summary I've spent more of my time in Scottsdale than Asheville since August as I had the opportunity to train as a reserve athlete for the Phoenix Rise in the first year of the professional Grid League. It was a very surreal yet challenging time in my life as I trained with some incredible athletes & worked under some awesome coaches at the OPEX facility in Scottsdale. The future for Grid & more so my potential involvement in the sport is all up in the air at this point.
As of now the focus is back to making decisions around where I want to be in life. What I want to do. How I want to structure my days & who I want to surround myself around. I'm very grateful for not only the freedom I have in my life, but for the support of those close to me as I navigate through the decisions.
Most recently I was back in Scottsdale to compete in a head to head functional fitness event called Rush Club. I won the lightweight undercard match & I am invited back to compete for the lightweight title belt in February. The full event can be viewed here.
Rush Club happened Saturday night & Sunday morning I was back at OPEX for an athlete camp that wrapped up the OPTathlon weekend at OPEX. Honestly I contemplated not attending. I had all these excuses related to Rush Club Saturday night, but mostly I was afraid to attend. I was attached to fear around how I would perform & if my training as of late has been adequate for me to do well. With some of my life transitions has brought some financial changes & I am not presently receiving the same coaching guidance I have been under for the past three years. When I don't have coaching I trust my doubt of myself & my preparedness for physical events grows even deeper. However, while I do hope to work with the OPEX coaching staff again in the future I am presently learning to trust in myself more & more day by day.
Below are the female results from the weekend & what I had to say about the experience on my IG post from this morning.
To some it is simply numbers on a board. To me these numbers symbolize purpose, truth & a few of the moments in time along my journey. It's been & continues to be a year of many life transitions & significant change. These are the times I find myself most questioning my own purpose & what I want to seek to achieve fulfillment. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by uncertainty & lost on this journey. Then I have days like yesterday where I set aside any excuses & pull myself out of bed in the morning to show up & have my name included on the white board. It was that decision to show up & accept the truth vs let the fear & ego of where I think I should be get in the way of loving myself for exactly where I am...that was the moment that lead me back to having more clarity towards what I love...None of us can change our past. As my mentors have reminded me many times "it is what it is". However every moment we have the gift of a new decision in the now. We have the power to make a new decision for ourselves. We have the freedom to allow these decisions to direct us in the direction of happiness & fulfillment in however that is packaged for each of us. Bottom line to find fulfillment we must make the decisions that bring happiness for us & let go of getting lost in the exhaustion that can come from forgetting our own desires in attempt to please others.
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