I finished the weekend in 13th place. This is my worst placing in my 4 years of participating in the regionals. It may be my worst placing, but I personally feel it was my best showing. The events this year were heavy for me but I hung in there and made it through to the final which is ultimately always my primary goal.
My reaction at the end of last year's regionals was drastically different than this year. I was frustrated and felt like I didn't have that competitive desire to push through discomfort. I wasn't sure if I even wanted to compete in the future and had the general feeling of, "Well, I might as well just get pregnant" is the attitude I left with. It was this feeling of well, if I'm not going to pursue the life of being competitive then motherhood would be the other option. For anyone that knows me...this is drastically the other far far end of the spectrum for me. Kids like me, but I've never enjoyed any length of time around children. I feel way too selfish to have children, but I'm sure if it ever does happen that I'll feel like many of the other mothers I regularly hear from in that it will be "the best thing that ever happened to me...yada yada yada".
I think that I was also freaking out a bit around turning 30 last September and felt like if I was going to have children then I better do it now. Since then I have acknowledged that there are many women having children in their late 30s and early 40s and that time and health is on my side. And so I digress...
This year I'm hungrier & excited to get back to training. Looking forward to having a full year of training with focused goals rather than spending most of the year floating from one goal to the next. I see my journey in the sport of CrossFit as a long journey for me. I have my engine and building the strength around it simply takes time. Going forward I want to continue to improve not only physically but mentally & emotionally as well. It was shocking to me how much calmer and pulled together I felt for this year. I finally feel like I have an appropriate perspective surrounding athletics. I do it because I love discovering my capabilities. Competitions are ideal places for me to challenge and test myself, but the result of the competition does not determine my own self worth.
James often talks about how true competitors spend their days constantly thinking about winning. When I initially heard this it made me feel like I don't have what it takes; that it doesn't mean THAT much to me. However, when I took a step back I acknowledged that much of my day is spent around maximizing being more efficient in my daily tasks as a wife, owner of two businesses and "mother" of two dogs. I'm working to put myself into a better and better position to free myself up for more training or well more so than the training is the increased recovery by reducing my overall strength.
As CrossFit gets more and more competitive every year with more eyes on the money and more sponsorships coming into play it becomes more difficult and much less likely for what James refers to as a "wannabe athlete" or someone that competes but really they still work full time or more than full time to remain competitive. I have an amazingly supportive husband and a great coaching staff that has enabled me to have far fewer demands in the gym and far less stress than a year ago. I'll continue to do what I can to keep an appropriate balance in my life and see where it takes me in years to come.
Ultimately I simply want to put myself in a position to realize as much of my full potential as possible. It may turn out that CF continue to demand heavier and heavier loads in order to be competitive and my smaller frame may limit me. However, the sport is too young to confirm that this is where it will go. Until then I'm going to keep showing up and see where I land.
Onward!
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| Sporting the "Sunday" shirt with Stacy! |
This year I'm hungrier & excited to get back to training. Looking forward to having a full year of training with focused goals rather than spending most of the year floating from one goal to the next. I see my journey in the sport of CrossFit as a long journey for me. I have my engine and building the strength around it simply takes time. Going forward I want to continue to improve not only physically but mentally & emotionally as well. It was shocking to me how much calmer and pulled together I felt for this year. I finally feel like I have an appropriate perspective surrounding athletics. I do it because I love discovering my capabilities. Competitions are ideal places for me to challenge and test myself, but the result of the competition does not determine my own self worth.
 |
| Where I want to be in upcoming years...front line of final heat! |
As CrossFit gets more and more competitive every year with more eyes on the money and more sponsorships coming into play it becomes more difficult and much less likely for what James refers to as a "wannabe athlete" or someone that competes but really they still work full time or more than full time to remain competitive. I have an amazingly supportive husband and a great coaching staff that has enabled me to have far fewer demands in the gym and far less stress than a year ago. I'll continue to do what I can to keep an appropriate balance in my life and see where it takes me in years to come.
Ultimately I simply want to put myself in a position to realize as much of my full potential as possible. It may turn out that CF continue to demand heavier and heavier loads in order to be competitive and my smaller frame may limit me. However, the sport is too young to confirm that this is where it will go. Until then I'm going to keep showing up and see where I land.
Onward!
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