3/1
Sleep 8:30-5:30.
Thrilled to report that I finally woke up feeling good. Sore throat clear & just a little phlegm. Most importantly energy levels felt much improved throughout the morning! Not sure if it was the acupuncture, Vit D, or other vitamins.
9am
A. Front squat @21X1; 1-2x4; rest 2 min
2x 175, 2x 185, 1x 195, 1x 200. Worked to keep the depth & pause legitimate this week & still hit a PR!
B. Clean 1,1,1,1; rest 90 sec
125, 145, 155, 165, 175, 180F.
Had planned to do the workout at 9;30 with Kate, but the gym was crazy packed and I was rushed to finish lifting and get in session before I came on to coach at 10:30. As such, decided to wait until the end of the morning and did it with Becca.
I was really nervous for this first week. I went through a wave of emotions from the time that it was released until I actually did the workout & then a whole new wave emotions following.
I watched the release Friday morning, as I've learned not to watch the announcement just before I hope to fall asleep. If I do I end up staring at the ceiling thinking about the workout over sleeping.
I struggle with all this fear that I'll give up & it makes me not even want to start. I was in a good place about the workout Friday and for the most part early Saturday & then my mental demons just came on strong as the morning went on.
I watched Kate do just over 8+ and fall on the floor in pain. 7-8 was my goal. Friday afternoon I had myself convinced that I could pace it out for 8, but after watching Kate all my internal talk turned into "there's no way you can do that".
From there I just flat out didn't want to do it anymore. I was contemplating the blogpost I was going to write to my community to explain why I wasn't competing in the 2014 Season. Mostly just that I'm too in my head and that it's not fun anymore.
This was the talk I had in my head that whole time I was warming up. I knew that it wasn't where I should be, but I felt stuck, frozen with those thoughts.
I had read Robin's post, "Get Mental for the Opens", Saturday morning and liked some of the remindings for positive areas to focus. By the time I was swamped with negativity just after noon on Saturday the only thing I could recall was to trust my training.
So I made a pact with myself to at least do the workout and then afterwards I can always decide to forego the season. I knew that I couldn't just not do it, as I'd always be wondering what I could have done.
Round 1 ub DUs/ ub snatches 1:05
Round 2 ub DUs/ 7/8 snatches 1:20 -still fighting negativity of not wanting to do this
Round 3 ub DUs/ 9/6 snatches 1:25 -"maybe this isn't so bad"
Round 4 ub DUs/ 8/7 snatches 1:25 - was 9 reps done of round 4 at halfway so I wanted to beat myself up that I wasn't going to get 8, but I was able to overcome this & starting to feel positive & excited that I was feeling good & could maintain.
Round 5 ub DUs/ 8/7 snatches 1:22 Hanging in there.
Round 6 tripped @ 29/ 9/6 snatches 1:27. Started to contemplate that maybe I didn't need to actually break the snatches.
Round 7 ub DUs/ UB Snatches 1:08…felt good. This was my best round mentally. And it may have been the first time (at least in a long time) that I had the thought…"I could do these snatches UB if I want"….and the beautiful moment was when I decided to and did! Typically I contemplate what I could do, but opt not to.
Round 8 ub DUs - 7 UB snatches at time.
174 reps @ half way, 178 reps 2nd half.
Now I know that if I had trusted in myself a little bit sooner and went after an UB set on round 6 that the potential for 8 rounds is there.
Recovery was great. Never got to the point of the tingles. Felt in control…just need to learn to trust myself and go out a touch hotter.
I had myself all worked up around what I felt I couldn't do and the mix of thoughts that has been circling since the workout is back to what I CAN do. I understand all the psychology stuff about focusing on what you want to create and all that. It's just a slow learning process to put it into practice.
Always learning….
3/2
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